Secrets and illusions
by tiffany103
Summary: Shusei has a secret that gets exposed to the one he didn't want to show it to. Horrible title and summary I know, but makes it seem more intriguing right. Makes you want to find out *wink*
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I don't own Uraboku, it's characters or any songs mentioned or used in this fanfic.**

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It was a normal school day when Shusei received an assignment in his music class that threw him. The teacher had been talking about nothing but the upcoming recital that they were putting on recently.

"Alright class, we want to do something a little different this year. I know that we have been preparing for the recital, but you final assignment for the year, which will count as your final exam, is to write and perform an original composition. This should have music and lyrics. You can work with your class mates or alone. If you choose to work in a group you must write-up a distribution of work so that I know who was responsible for which part. If there are any questions please let me know?"

After the assignment was given, the teacher went back to her office and the student all started discussing who to work with and what they would do. Shusei on the other hand decided he did not want to work with anyone.

_I should be able to come up with something. I really don't want to rely on others for my grade. I will talk to the teacher and see if she has any ideas._

"Excuse me Sensei, I plan to work alone, can you give me an idea of where to start?"

"I assumed you would work alone Usui-kun, you always do. I want you to really push yourself this time though. I think the best place to start would be to decide what you want your song to say and who you want to write it for and about. It can be about you, a friend, family, or lover. Then write from the heart everything else should fall into place. If you need any more advice come to me."

"Ok" Shusei left the music department thinking about what he was going to write. He couldn't think of anything or anyone really other than Hotsuma, but that was because they were always together, right?

Shusei slowly made his way back to the Twilight mansion and went straight to his room. He needed to really think about this. Music class was really the only class he liked. He did well in school, but it was natural for him, but playing the piano made him feel like his problems melted away.

After thinking for a while and coming up with nothing he decided he needed some inspiration. He crept quietly to the other side of the mansion to a giant room that was completely dark. He went in and locked the door behind him. None of the other Zweilt came to this side of the mansion much so Shusei had it to himself most of the time so that he could relax and play. The others also didn't know what kind of talent the brunette had as the room was sound proofed.

As Shusei sat at the piano in the center of the room, he absent-mindedly started to play Moonlight Sonata. He let his mind drift as his fingers expertly maneuvered through the first movement. This movement always made him think of when he and Hotsuma were younger and they would hide away together from their problems. He never felt more loved than when he and his best friend were together. The fiery blond always found a bright side to things back then. He could clearly remember the amazing smile his partner would display when he would look out into the night sky.

When he reached the second movement it was very light-hearted and he thought of Hotsuma know. Now that Yuki had helped him to overcome some of his issues he seemed to tease and play more with Shusei. His mind wandered further as he continued playing.

The third movement always caught him, it was fierce and chaotic and it always reminded him of heartbreak and fear. Shusei's fingers flowed through the notes as his mind drifted back to the day he saved Hotsuma. The fear and heartbreak that came when he saw his best friend and the person he loved most in the world trying to leave him. He hated that Hotsuma had that much pain in him and that he didn't belong in this world.

By the end of the sonata Shusei had tears running down his face. He knew what he wanted to say in his final piece. He was glad that this was just a school project and that none of the other residents of the twilight mansion would hear his words or composition.


	2. Chapter 2

Shusei was having a hard time getting time alone to work on his project. He had taken to telling the others that he was working on things for Takashiro so that they wouldn't bother him. He had used a fake headache 3 times in the last 2 weeks and Hotsuma was starting to catch on. He had to find a way to work on his assignment in peace so that the others, especially his partner, didn't find out about it.

After 3 weeks of dodging questions and sneaking around he finally asked the music teacher to help him so that he could continue his work.

"Usui-kun, you are more than welcome to work on your project here. I will give you a copy of the room key and you can come and go as you please until the projects are due. You just need permission to stay late by yourself."

"That won't be a problem Sensei, if it is for school I can stay." Shusei knew that he would have to skirt the issue and just state that it was for a project and that he would be late for the next few weeks.

Shusei grabbed the key and left the room. Now he just needed to casually let the others know so that he could be alone. As he was losing himself trying to decide what to say he ran head on into a hard surface. When he looked up from where he had fallen he saw he ran into Hotsuma.

"Hey I was looking for you. You need to be more careful." Hotsuma said as he helped his partner off the ground.

"Sorry, I was lost in thought."

"What were you think about? You have been MIA these past few weeks, there isn't anything wrong is there? Does it have to do with the jobs Takashiro is having you do?"

"No, I am fine, there isn't anything wrong. I just got a final project in one of my classes so I will be staying late for the next few weeks working on it."

"Well, I'll stay with you and then we can walk home together."

"NO… I mean no, I will have a group I am working with and I don't know how long we will be working each night and so I will ask Takashiro to send a car for me so that you don't have to wait so long and be bored." Shusei hoped that he recovered from his outburst well enough no to raise any flags.

"Hmmm, Ok but let me know if you need me to stay I don't mind waiting on you."

"I know, thanks, but really, I will be fine." Shusei smiled at his partner.

The next week Shusei stayed in the music room. He was almost though with the composition and needed to work on the lyrics that would accompany it. This was going to be the hard part. The emotions he felt just writing the composition were wearing him out, but the lyrics he actually had to put a voice to what he wanted to say in his heart.

As he started writing, his cell went off.

"Hey where are you?" Hotsuma's voice on the other side asked.

"At school working on my project."

"Well I am at the school. I had um… some things to do as well… I thought I would wait for you today. I looked in your class and in the library but didn't see anyone else. Where are you at and I will come there."

"No, um I will meet you out front. The others just left so I was about to pack it in." Shusei said in a hurry, quickly packing all of his belongings in his bag and locking the music room. He took the long way from the music room so that you couldn't tell that was where he came from. As he walked to the front he saw Hotsuma looking around for him.

"Jeez, where have you been? I was about to look all over the school. What kind of project is this and where were you?" Shusei knew Hotsuma was starting to become suspicious of him staying at school so long, but he really didn't want to have everyone know about his talent or know that the subject of the project he was working on was his partner.

"Oh well you know research into school affairs and things. Today we met with the principal and some of the other teachers." Shusei hid his eyes. Hotsuma would know he was lying if he looked into his eyes. He really hated lying to his best friend.

"Hmph… fine, let's go home."

Back at the mansion the two boys ate dinner and Hotsuma not wanting to let Shusei continue to hide things followed him to his room.

"I'm staying here tonight. Do you need to do any homework?" Hotsuma grabbed Shusei's bag and went to open it.

"NO, umm no. I don't have any homework. Let's uh go take a bath and then go to bed." Shusei was trying to find something that would divert his partner's attention from his school bag.

"Really? You're going to bathe with me?" Hotsuma was shocked and now really wanted to know what Shusei was hiding from him to go as far as to bathe together.

"Um, well, s-sure. Why don't you go ahead and I'll meet you there?"

"Nah that's cool. I'll wait for you so grab your things."

Shusei was beyond nervous, they had discussed his scars and Hotsuma seemed more at ease with them, but he still hadn't seen them fully and he was worried the guilt would reflect in his eyes again.

Both men stepped into the empty bathroom and divested themselves of their clothes. Hotsuma climbed in and stared at the trembling man with his back turned. Shusei quickly turned and climbed in, he shyly looked up from the water to see Hotsuma looking not at his scars, but at his eyes. As soon as he saw that there was no guilt in those golden eyes only concern tears started to roll down his cheeks.

"Hey, Shusei don't cry. If you hate it this much we don't have to bathe together." Hotsuma stated worried about his partner.

"No, I… I'm glad. I was so worried you would be upset over my scars again. I didn't want to keep hiding them from you." Shusei looked up with a watery smile. Hotsuma closed the distance and held his partner close.

"You don't have to hide anything from me. Please don't hide from me anymore." Shusei sniffed and relaxed into the blonde's embrace. For the first time since the incident he felt completely at ease.


	3. Chapter 3

Another week passed and it seemed Hotsuma had given up thinking Shusei was hiding anything else so he was able to complete his project. The day after they turned in their music was when they had to perform for the teacher. Each was done privately so that others couldn't try and change their performance if someone else's was better.

When Shusei went in and sat at the piano, he took a deep breath. The song he played and sang was full of emotion. You could sense the love and care he had for the person he sang about, you could feel the pain during parts and sadness he felt. The song was beautifully done.

After everyone was finished the teacher let everyone leave for the afternoon. As she went over the assignments and was grading each person, she couldn't get Usui-kun's song out of her mind. She continued to think and came up with a brilliant plan. She just had to get Usui-kun to agree which would be the toughest part.

The next day when the student's walked in Shusei was called to the teacher's office.

"Usui-kun, your final project was amazing. You really pushed yourself and it shows."

"Thank you."

"I want you to perform your piece at the recital in one week."

"I'm sorry, I can't"

"Yes you can. Other's need to hear your song, it was beautiful and memorable and please we need your song."

"I can't, I didn't write that for other's to hear it."

"Are you worried about everyone hearing it or are you worried about the person you wrote it about hearing it."

Shusei stiffened and averted his eyes. He was worried about Hotsuma hearing it. They had just talked about not hiding things. He didn't want this to come out.

"Look the recital is optional to students and it is after school so if you want I can make an excuse so that whoever it is thinks that you are doing school work and not this." The teacher had hoped that this would sway him.

"Let me think about it." Shusei walked out with his head down not wanting to deal with this right now. He quickly made his way to the roof of the school.

_"Jeez, it was hard enough writing that song, why do I have to perform it for anyone else… Well I guess though there might be others who feel like outsiders and might be thinking of committing suicide. The feelings I had when I saw Hotsuma, I don't want anyone else to feel that… but I can't play this for Hotsuma…"_

_"GOD… Why can't I play this for him? It is about him, he should hear it. If he hears it though, what will he think? I don't want him to hate me for writing it."_

_"No he is my Best Friend; he wouldn't hate me for it. He may even like it. If he liked it maybe he would hug me again like he did when we were in the bath." _

_"Wait, what am I thinking, why do I want him to hug me again? And why did I not want to let go of him before?"_

_"OH MY GOD, we were naked. I just realized we were naked when he hugged me." _Shusie blushed furiously thinking about it.

"_What is this? I have always cared for Hotsuma, but why does it feel different now?"_ As Shusei was leaving the roof he stopped dead in his tracks.

_"Holy crap, I think I might be in love with him. When did this happen? He doesn't treat me any different. When did this change?"_

Shusei thought it over and realized that when he was finally able to bare his scars to the person closest to him and not see an ounce of guilt in his eyes, that was when his heart healed and opened up to the possibility.


	4. Chapter 4

Shusei had eventually agreed to do the recital and so the music teacher combined with a few other students added so background music to go along with the piano.

The night of the performance everything had gone well getting out of the mansion unnoticed, or so Shusei thought. Hotsuma had been keeping an eye on him after that bath just more discreetly. After Shusei snuck out, Hotsuma followed him. He was surprised when he ended up at the school.

Hotsuma noticed the signs for the Music recital that night and wondered why Shusei was there. He trailed behind his partner watching closely to see what he was up to. Shusei then went in a door that led back stage. Hotsuma didn't think he could be back there so he waited out of sight of the door for Shusei to return.

The performances had been going on for about an hour when they stated that a student submission was next and that it was written as a final project. Hotsuma peeked out to see which student had written music for this performance and was shocked to see Shusei sitting on stage behind a piano.

"_Shusei doesn't play piano, what is he doing up there?"_

Just as Hotsuma was thinking, Shusei started playing a beautiful yet haunting song. He was mesmerized and moved to get a better view. Shusei then started to sing.

I know it's hard to tell how mixed up you feel  
Hoping what you need is behind every door  
Each time you get hurt, I don't want you to change  
Because everyone has hopes, you're human after all  
The feeling sometimes, wishing you were someone else  
Feeling as though you never belong  
This feeling is not sadness, this feeling is not joy  
I truly understand, Please, don't cry now

Please don't go, I want you to stay  
I'm begging you please, please don't leave here  
I don't want you to hate for all the hurt that you feel  
The world is just illusion trying to change you

Being like you are  
Well this is something else, who would comprehend?  
But some that do, lay claim that  
Divine purpose blesses them  
That's not what I believe, it doesn't matter anyway  
A part of your soul ties you to the next world  
Or maybe to the last, I'm still not sure  
What I do know is, to use the world is different  
As we are to the world but, I guess you would know that

Please don't go, I want you to stay  
I'm begging you please, please don't leave here  
I don't want you to hate for all the hurt that you feel  
The world is just illusion trying to change you

When the song finished Shusei stood up and looked out into the audience as he took a bow. As he raised his head his eye met with a familiar pair of golden eyes. Shusei could only look shocked and guilty as he walked down from the stage.


	5. Chapter 5

Shusei walked over to Hotsuma with his head bowed. When he got there he was suddenly yanked by the arm and dragged into an empty classroom. Hotsuma slammed the door behind them.

"Um… Hotsuma… I…"

"Why didn't I know?" Hotsuma said without facing Shusei.

"I'm sorry" Shusei said barely above a whisper.

"Jesus Shu, I didn't even know you played piano. I mean I knew you used to, but I thought you had stopped, and was this the project you were working on?"

"Yes, um I am actually in a music class and we had to compose a song for our final grade."

"Why didn't you tell me? I would have been sitting front row. I thought we weren't going to hide anything anymore."

"I didn't want to hide it, but…"

"But what?

"Nothing…" Shusei continued looking at the floor never looking to see Hotsuma's reaction.

"You're not going to tell me? What changed you used to tell me everything? God now you sneak around so that I won't know things about you."

"I COULDN'T TELL YOU BECAUSE IT'S DIFFERENT NOW." Shusei blushed at his outburst.

"What is different? What changed? I don't understand?" Hotsuma said in a soothing voice trying to calm his partner as he stepped in front of him.

Shusei was debating with himself. He couldn't see a way to make Hotsuma give up the subject and he didn't know any way to get out of this situation other than to come clean. He quickly peeked to see his partner's eyes. They weren't angry anymore, they were hurt and confused. Shusei decided it was now or never. He just hoped this wouldn't ruin things.

"Fine you want to know what is different?" You really want to know?" With those biting words Shusei grabbed the nape of Hotsuma's neck and crashed their lips together. Hotsuma stood frozen in his spot. He was not expecting this at all. He regained his thought process just as Shusei's lips left his.

"That is why it is different." Shusei said quietly and ran from the room tears streaming down his face.

Hotsuma tried to run after him, but lost sight of him in the crowd of people still mingling around after the performances. Hotsuma still in shock decided that he would head home and let Shusei gather his thoughts and they would talk when they got back.


	6. Chapter 6

Back at the Twilight Mansion Hotsuma looked all over for Shusei but couldn't find him. He waited in Shusei's room all night and the boy never came back. By morning Hotsuma was really getting worried that he hadn't returned. When he went down to breakfast the others stated that Shusei had already left for school. Hotsuma hurriedly left to go find Shusei.

When Hotsuma reached the school he was informed that Shusei was out for the day and that he had received a phone call and quickly left. Hotsuma was starting to get irritated why did he kiss me like that and then run away? Was he really that worried about my reaction?

Hotsuma was no longer in the mood to attend class so he went to the roof to think.

"_Why wouldn't Shusei talk to me? He must know that I care for him."_

_"But do I only care for him as my partner or more than that? I have always found Shusei attractive for a man. He has such a slender body."_

_"Good lord, my lower half is reacting from the thought of Shusei's body. Well I guess that clears up that. I love Shusei with all my heart and want to protect my partner, but why would he leave me like this?"_

_"Well maybe he was shocked by his feelings. I mean I never even thought of Shusei like that until he kissed me, but I wasn't disgusted by the kiss. Quite the opposite, he had soft lips."_

_"If I hadn't been so shocked I wonder what it would have been like to kiss him back."_

_"Crap I've got to stop thinking about this or I'll embarrass myself."_

Hotsuma took some time thinking of non-sexual things to get his body under control and left the roof. When he got back he still couldn't find Shusei. He asked all the other residents and they all said they had seen him earlier, but that they didn't know where he was now. Shusei had skipped dinner too sending a note saying he wasn't feeling well, but when Hotsuma when to his room he wasn't there.

Hotsuma quickly went to Dr. Isuzu's office to see if he was there. He only found Dr. Isuzu though.

"You're looking for Shusei? He hasn't been here."

"Dammit." Hotsuma exclaimed as he punched the wall.

"Is there a problem? Can I help you?"

"He's avoiding me. I know it. I have looked everywhere."

"Why would Shusei-kun be avoiding you? " The doctor asked

"Did you know he plays piano?" Hotsuma asked quietly

"I did."

"I didn't, I found out yesterday, we said some things and well now he is avoiding me. I didn't even get to tell him I liked the song he wrote. He is really talented, but now I can't even find him." Hotsuma said in a dejected tone.

"Hmmm… I see, well hold on." Dr. Isuzu went to his desk and pulled out a giant key ring. He searched through three or four before pulling one off.

"Here take this. Go to the West side of the house and you will find what you are looking for."

"Wait, what does this key open? Is Shusei there?"

"Ah ah, go find your answer and also just so you know. There are only 3 people who have a key to this room. Usually when it is locked those inside are not disturbed so I will need it back when you are finished."


	7. Chapter 7

Hotsuma looked down at the key in his hand and quickly went to the opposite side of the mansion. He wandered through the hall trying the key on each door. He came to a room with double doors and stopped. He could faintly hear a piano coming from the key hole. He placed the key in and the door cracked open.

Sitting in the center of the room with his back to the door was his partner playing a beautiful song. He stood there listening to the movements.

Shusei didn't know why, but his fingers wouldn't play anything other than Moonlight Sonata. He played through the first two movements without issue, but when he hit the third movement his mind wandered to the tearing feeling in his heart. He couldn't get the thought of Hotsuma rejecting him out of his mind. That kiss ruined everything and his partner just stood there frozen. Halfway through the final movement Shusei couldn't do it anymore. His fingers froze and he broke down sobbing.

Seeing his partner in such pain Hotsuma quietly walked up behind the brunette and wrapped his arms around his waist as he sat down behind him. Shusei stiffened not realizing anyone else was in the room.

"That song was beautiful." Hotsuma said quietly.

"…" Shusei didn't say anything. He was uncomfortable with the closeness after being rejected the day before.

"Why have you been avoiding me?"

"I needed time." Shusei said in a whisper.

"Time for what? You kissed me and then left." At this Shusei started to struggle trying to get free from the younger man's grasp.

"You rejected me, I needed time to recover." Shusei said with a huff not believing he needed to explain this.

"What do you mean rejected? You caught me off guard and then I didn't get to respond." Hotsuma exclaimed

"You just stood there, I assumed that meant you didn't see me that way, hell I didn't notice my feelings until…" Shusei trailed off

"Until when?" Hotsuma prodded gently.

"Until I was asked to perform the song I wrote for you." Shusei whispered again.

"So that song was for me?"

"…"

Hotusma leaned down to Shusei's ear and whispered to him softly.

"It was beautiful and amazing and I am not going anywhere." With that statement Hotsuma started to kiss down Shusei's neck. Shusei lost for a moment moaned at the sensation. This quickly pulled him back to reality and he snapped his neck away.

"Wh-what are you doing?"

"What does it look like? I am giving you an answer to your declaration." Hotsuma said as he started trailing kisses down the older boy's neck again this time slowly moving one of his hands under Shusei's shirt and caressed his stomach up to his chest.

"hmmmm…" Shusei hummed as the sensations in his body soothed and aroused him. As he leaned his head further over to allow more access to his neck, he felt his shirt lifted from his body. Not being able to think any more about the sadness and pain he had been feeling he turned his head to look at the man behind him.

When he met the eyes of the man he loved he was awed by the tender kiss that met his lips. Slowly the two men explored each other's mouths. As the kiss heated up, Hotsuma quickly turned Shusei around to face him. He closed the cover over the piano keys and lifted the slender man up to sit on it. He then rubbed his straining erection against Shusei's equally straining member.

"uhh… mmm… Hotsu" Shusei could barely speak from the pleasure he was feeling. Hotsuma taking this as a green light quickly divested Shusei of his pants and stood back between his legs stroking the older zweilt's dripping cock.

Shusei was in bliss, but needed more contact so he moved his hands trying to alleviate Hotsuma's shirt from his body. Hotsuma noticed the struggle and quickly removed his own shirt.

"Shusei, you are dripping. Does it feel good?"

"Mmmm, yes… Hotsu, s-so g-good." Shusei stuttered out as he ran his hands over every inch of skin he could reach. Hotsuma slowly and cautiously moved one hand to Shusei's opening and rubbed the tight pucker.

"You are even dripping here. You have such a lusty body Shusei." With those words he inserted one finger and moved it in and out. Hotsuma noticed that Shusei was feeling nothing but pleasure so he added his second finger and started to scissor them. By the time he added his third finger the man in front of him was writhing while his body begged for more.

"Shu, your body is amazing, I am going to enter." After one thrust he was fully engulfed. Hotsuma stopped to allow Shusei to become accustomed to the intrusion.

"Hotsuma… ahhh… So full… nggg… Please… Move" Not needing to be told twice Hotsuma strated thrusting. He started changing angles searching for the bundle of nerves that would make sure Shusei was in heaven. When he finally found the spot he was looking for he picked Shusei's legs up off of the Piano bench and held them up with his arms.

"Shusei, you are so tight, you are sucking me in." Hotsuma continued to thrust. Feeling himself get close to climax he took Shusei's straining cock in his hand and started to pump in motion with his thrusts.

"Hotsu… gonna cum"

"Cum with me Shusei" After two more pumps Shusei release all over their stomachs. Hotsuma followed shortly after and collapsed against Shusei and the Piano.

"Hotsuma, we need to get off the piano, I don't want it to break."

"Pfft… ok your right." Hotsuma could help but chuckle at his partner. As they got up and started to re-dress Shusei started looking melancholy again and Hotsuma taking notice grabbed Shusei's hand and pulled him into a tight embrace.

"In case you our little private performance wasn't clear enough, let me tell you straight. I love you. Not just as a partner and not just as a friend. I have realized that I am in love with you and want nothing more than to stay by your side as your lover."

Shusei blushed furiously at this speech. Usually the younger Zweilt was horrible with words, but right now, he was saying just the thing to make Shusei's heart burst with hope and affection.

"Ok" Shusei said quietly, his blush now reached his ears. Hotsuma just chuckled and leaned in for a chaste kiss.

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**A/N: I am not going to lie, I have always thought Shusei would make an excellent piano player with his slender fingers. Also Hot Piano Sex! Yay. Let me know what you guys think**


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